Kay
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This is quite common and it’s happened to me as well, so you’re not alone! Toddlers tend to have a favorite parent, unfortunately, as they gravitate towards the parent who meets their needs the easiest. In the beginning, I had to remind myself repeatedly not to take it personally and stay positive. My husband included me as much as possible in whatever we were doing. We also arranged some things that would be only us two, like reading English books or Toddler Yoga. I think my daughter was in a “Daddy> Mommy” phase the most when she was around the age of your daughter. Now she’s stuck to both Mommy and Daddy equally, haha.
It’s hard and takes time, but she stop her favoritism eventually as long as you don’t withdraw or show that you’re hurt by her snubs (again, easier said than done. I definitely had to leave the room to cry sometimes because feeling like you’re being rejected by your own child is painful).
Does your wife work outside of the home and you work from home? If so, that also may be why she gravitates to your wife when she comes home. She wants to spend time with her.
DD, that sounds similar to my daughter when she was your child’s age. Mainly repeating things although she had “uh oh” and “hai douzo” down pat.
Liz, thanks for sharing your unique experience! It’s great that your kids were able to live in an English-speaking country for three years. It’s also really interesting to hear how the differences in age influenced their use of English after coming back to Japan.
I never thought about sending my daughter to an English school but maybe it would be a good thing for her to communicate with someone other than me in English. She really liked the English teacher at her daycare and I think that helped her English language ability as well.
My daughter loves songs from Moana too! She hasn’t listened to Justin Timberland nor Maroon 5, though. It’s so cute that your daughter likes those artists! And she sounds like she’s good at putting away her toys (hopefully, haha).
Thanks for joining and introducing yourself, DD!
Hi Jessi! Thanks for joining and letting us know a bit about you.
15 years in Tokyo! You must have a wealth of knowledge about the city. And it’s definitely a great place to live when considering your interests.
We can’t watch Japanese TV at our new place so I’m starting to miss it, especially since it’s good Japanese listening practice. (Don’t get much of that anymore since I’m no longer working in an office.)
I really look forward to seeing your insights into topics on this forum about bilingualism! It really is wonderful to see kids switch from one language to another. My daughter’s sentences are a mix of Japanese and English lately and I love it.
Despite my husband and I both only speaking English at home, my daughter mainly speaks Japanese. This was because of daycare. She’s been out of daycare and at home with me for three months now and she’s using English more but not as much as Japanese. My husband has also switched to speaking Japanese with her since she no longer gets that from daycare.
English language television shows/movies for young children have definitely had a positive impact on her English skills. She repeats a lot of things she hears. I also read her lots of English books and she video chats with her relatives in Canada at least once a week.
At the same time, she’s only two, so we’ll see what happens. I’ve heard of parents with older children who speak both English and Japanese using English workbooks once their child starts school and only allowing English language media in the house.
I’d love to hear from parents of older kids!
Hi setagaya_mommy!
My daughter was using her pacifier until she was 2.5-years-old (eek!). She didn’t have a problem when she didn’t have it at daycare (started at 9 months) but she needed it to fall asleep at night.
We went cold turkey as well a month ago and like you experienced, it takes longer for her to sleep and she cried a lot, but things are generally fine. She hasn’t sucked on her thumb as a replacement yet.
I’ll share this on my Twitter to see if other parents can share their experiences as well!
That’s a very good point, I think there’s only one person somewhat nearby that I could ask to watch my daughter if there was an emergency, and even then I think it would be hard for her given that she will soon have two kids under three… My in-laws could come on the shinkansen but it would still take three hours.
Ah my daughter loves Paw Patrol too! She tried watching Octonauts back when she was one but wasn’t into it. She might be now but I haven’t let her watch television for two weeks so…
“sort of good”, I wonder if this is common in kids once they’re no longer toddlers 🤔
Oh my goodness, you were alone in the room and no one to help you with the contractions initially?! That sounds awful, you poor soul. I’m so glad that your BIL is a midwife and was able to get on the phone, and that eventually, a nurse stayed with you.
I didn’t realize an epidural would be so painful. I had a spinal block but I didn’t really feel it. Considering how difficult it is to find a clinic that offers epidurals in Tokyo, I’m surprised (and relieved) that you were able to get it since you live in a small city.
The part after your epidural sounds wonderful. But oof, imagine if you had seen that much blood! Did you need a blood transfusion?
I’m so envious of everyone who had great food! That’s one of the great things about giving birth in Japan and sadly, I wasn’t able to experience it.
Your clinic overall sounds great (minus you being alone in the beginning). I’d love to hear your experiences after giving birth, please consider starting a topic about it! Maybe other parents experienced something similar and can relate <3
Thanks for sharing, Pilaf! It’s nice to hear that your experience was positive overall, especially since you had an episiotomy but no pain relief.
I wonder if it’s typical to be given food while you’re nearing the end of labor? I can’t imagine eating during that time! And blueberry yogurt and pizza toast of all things?!
The timing of the pandemic couldn’t have been worse. I’m sorry and I hope things calm down sooner than later so your family can finally meet your son and you can get a break!
I didn’t even know Google phones were a thing back then! All of my friends except for two had garakei phones. The two who didn’t had iPhones.
I like RPGs like Final Fantasy but turn-based. (FF7 Remake was too much for me, I just watched my husband play it (´•̥ ᵔ •̥`)*ᶜʳᶦᵉˢ*).
Aww, that sounds adorable! Oh my daughter has a blanket stuffy like that but it’s a pink elephant. She loves it, I give it to her to hold whenever she wakes up at night and it helps her fall asleep.
Aww, he put the tractor on a swing?! That is too cute! Made me smile, thanks for sharing that.
I didn’t even know there’s a Thomas Land in Fuji-Q Highland. I hope someone is able to share their experience going!
Thanks for sharing your experience, Liz! It was very interesting to read, especially since you had twins the second time. It’s a bit scary that they gave you ritodrine. I wonder why Japan continues to use it and what happens if someone doesn’t want to take it.
“My husband wasn’t allowed into theater, but to be honest, I doubt I’d have noticed him even if he was there!” This is exactly how I felt! I was so nervous and trying to focus on what the doctors and nurses were telling me (and terrified that I would feel pain) that my husband was the last thing on my mind.
The after-birth care is absolutely great, it’s nice to have that support for a few days before you’re thrown into taking care of a newborn alone.
Hello Pilaf and thank you for joining!
Part-time work while my kid is in daycare is the dream (at least for me, haha).
