Mom/Dad

  • This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by DD.
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  • During the day, we can spend all the time together, play, get carried, eat, anything, but come like 7:30, she only goes by mom. I can never put her to bed when mom is home. Sometimes can not even post with her at night with mom home, anyone else have this situation? It’s kinda frustrating cause I want to help and spend time with her (we both work full time so I also try to reduce my wife’s stress) but I can not play with her at night when my wife is home.

    Kinda frustrating at times cause I feel useless.

    This is quite common and it’s happened to me as well, so you’re not alone! Toddlers tend to have a favorite parent, unfortunately, as they gravitate towards the parent who meets their needs the easiest. In the beginning, I had to remind myself repeatedly not to take it personally and stay positive. My husband included me as much as possible in whatever we were doing. We also arranged some things that would be only us two, like reading English books or Toddler Yoga. I think my daughter was in a “Daddy> Mommy” phase the most when she was around the age of your daughter. Now she’s stuck to both Mommy and Daddy equally, haha.

    It’s hard and takes time, but she stop her favoritism eventually as long as you don’t withdraw or show that you’re hurt by her snubs (again, easier said than done. I definitely had to leave the room to cry sometimes because feeling like you’re being rejected by your own child is painful).

    Does your wife work outside of the home and you work from home? If so, that also may be why she gravitates to your wife when she comes home. She wants to spend time with her.

    I understand what you’re saying. We have the park on weekends and our time before mommy comes home on weekdays, it’s always fun.

    the little one goes to hoikuen, she started at 3 months and it’s great! I get to pick up most days and take, I’ve tried to make my schedule to accommodate, so what you are saying about the excitement of mommy coming home makes sense. I just don’t get the same excitement. I keep my… frustration (?) to myself or away from her.

    I appreciate you’re advice! It helps. I know this whole thing is a learning process and I really have no idea what I’m doing. Thank you!

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