Park manners

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  • at #8103

    So I’m at my local park today with my daughter. She’s almost 23 months, so just under 2.

    we are playing in the sandbox and a 3 year old boy comes up. He’s clearly interested in playing with her and that’s good. Shimi had her sandbox Daiso toys and was playing and the boy wanted to play too. To me, Shimi needs to learn how to play and share with others so it’s all good. Boy comes up and put sand on her, again, no biggie it’s a sandbox and it is expected.

    his mom takes him and they come back a few minutes later and the boy starts taking to Shimi, it was kinda difficult to make out what he was saying and Shimi just stood staring at him. The mom comes up and says to come by her, cause Shimi is a gaijin and doesn’t understand you. Now I’m starting to feel offended. Maybe I’m too sensitive but Shimi is Japanese and i don’t like when ignorant people call her a gaijin.

    next we go to the slide. Shimi loves to climb up by herself and slide down but I still get super nervous as I don’t want her to fall, obviously, so I’m extra cautious. I stand behind to spot and then run to the front to get her as she comes down, it’s a fast fun slide.


    Then the boy comes again as Shimi gets to the top and is standing on the top. I start to panic cause the boy starts climbing the ladder.  I’m at the side making my way to the front and see the boy. I ask the dad(who is now there) to ask his son to wait. The son ignores. Shimi is frozen on the top standing on the top of the slide looking back at the boy. I see the panic in her face as she knows the boy is coming. Again I ask the dad to stop the boy. He doesn’t. The boy the gets to the top where Shimi is standing and he pushes her to the side and goes down. Now I’m angry as Shimi starts crying on the top and pushing on the top of the slide is dangerous. I go up get Shimi and tell the dad tell his kid to wait. all of this dialog is in Japanese. He knows I’m pissed   Then Shimi sees the slide open again. So she wants to try again. So we walk over and she starts to climb again. This time I’m on super high alert. The little boy runs over and I think here we go again and again it happens. This time she is still climbing as the boy starts climbing after. I grab Shimi and tell the dad thanks for watching his kid sarcastically. I’m pretty disgruntled at this point.

    then my wife comes and Shimi is kinda crying still. She doesn’t cry at the park often. I tell her what happened in English and the dad is nearby. The dad then says, I can hear you , in English. I say good I’m glad and the dad says how his son is only three, what should he do, I say not to push a nearly 2 year old girl on a slide is a good thing to start. And he repeats again how he’s 3 and I say she’s 1, teaching him not to push and to wait in line is pretty good place to start. We walk away from each other.

    was I too overprotective? If it were anywhere else but on the top of a slide, I really would not have said anything.

    at #8119

    Sorry for the late reply, DD!

    Oh man, this has my blood BOILING. If you’re overprotective for that then I am as well (I told off a kid for pushing A’s hand out of the way when she was playing with a toy at Toys R Us.)

    That man was RUDE and clearly isn’t teaching his child good manners. I told my husband about it and he said that the father is an idiot (アホ).

    When my daughter was younger, actually probably around Shimi’s age, so many parents would tell their child to be careful or wait if Anzu was around because she’s younger than them (赤ちゃんがいるよ!気をつけて!”).

    Now that A is three, my husband and I absolutely tell her to be careful around younger kids. If there’s a small toddler going up the stairs of a slide, I usually direct my daughter to play with something else until the slide is free. Now she does it on her own!

    Unfortunately, I think there are idiot parents out there who don’t think kids are old or smart enough at a certain age to be careful around others. It’s sad, really.

    at #8121

    Thank you so much. I’ve really been wondering if I overreacted but I just think it was on the top of the side and serious damage could happen. I get parenting is not easy, ever, but I just felt angry and actually stayed calm until he interjected when I was speaking with my wife about it. Even then I stayed calm

    right?!? I’ve see kids Shimi’s age wait in line and not go climbing up while the kid is still climbing and definitely not push past as she is on top.

    My wife thinks he got mad for speaking English about it to her.

    I really always question everything I do when parenting. It’s a whole new way of life. I’m really grateful for the group to give their feedback or perspective. It helps to hear different experiences. Thank you so much for this platform


    at #8154

    happy New Year everyone! I would like to follow up in this.

    over the New Year, I was at another park, near my in-laws. A similar situation kinda started to transpire. Shimi was going to the slide as she loves to do and another girl, maybe a year older wanted to go up. I was a little more on guard this time due to last time. But, but, the father told his daughter to wait, she didn’t, which I can understand, and he just lifted her off the ladder area to go up, apologized and told told his daughter to wait again while holding her. I said thank you very much, relieved, and just thought about the previous situation.

    at #8156

    Hi DD!

    That’s excellent news! Hooray for thoughtful and kind parents who teach that to their kids!

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