The future
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Does anyone get really worried about the future for our kids? Our generation is having a pretty hard time compared to our parents and I worry that it’ll get worse…?
Alongside this, do any of you worry about raising your child in Japan rather than your home country? Inflation is out of control in Canada so financially, I think staying in Japan is the right thing but I worry about my daughter being an “outsider”. I haven’t successfully made any Japanese mom friends either, which doesn’t help.
I had this conversation with my mum before N was born. Like, global warming, carbon footprint of having a child, all that stuff felt so oppressive and I felt so conflicted about all that coupled with my lifelong desire to have a baby. Was it right? Was it ethical to bring another life into this fucky world? When I spoke to her about it, she said, “honestly, every generation feels like this” and while it may be easy to say “yes, but our threats in this generation are different“… how different is it, I wonder? We have climate change, economic instability, human rights crises… Previous generations had World Wars, Cold War, chaotic revolutions and crushed uprisings – depending on where you live there’s never been a “good” time to have a kid, I guess. We have no way of really knowing what the future will be like. It may be worse in many ways, it may be better in many others. While yes, there are various models that make various predictions, we don’t know what’s going to happen for sure. If worrying too much about a future “if” that we can’t control paralyses us into inaction and prevents us improving* our “now” then it isn’t a productive use of our time. (*in our own individual ways, as much as we can!)
As for raising a child in Japan vs. England… oh boy, Japan for sure. There is too much going on in England right now, and none of it good. Give it another decade or so and I’ll get back to you…
depending on where you live there’s never been a “good” time to have a kid, I guess
This is very true. There’s always going to be some kind of problem, no generation is without it. I suppose we just look at our parents’ generation and think everything was better when in reality, it had its issues.
But things like global warming seem inescapable and getting increasingly worse. What will summers be like ten years from now? Ten years ago it wasn’t nearly this bad! How will our kids get to school? Will the schools make them go outside in this heat or refuse to use aircon? What about salaries? Will Japan continue to pay shit wages despite rising costs? I know worrying about this isn’t productive but I can’t help it. And I feel helpless. What can I do, what can we do, to improve these situations? (Well, I guess in terms of work I will insist my daughter works for a gaishikei, haha.)
Yeah, the only reason we were able to actually have our kid was because we were living here ^_^;; I am very nervous for the future, but at least I don’t live in a country where schools get shot up every week and healthcare is a privilege not a right >__<
My one thought is that I hope I will raise a kid who will be a good person and, in doing so, offset the bad of the world, if that makes sense? It’s hard to explain ahah ^_^;;
I have many thoughts about America but I am also not American so… I feel for you guys. I’m also so happy you had the opportunity and insight to come to Japan and have the family you deserve. Japan isn’t perfect (what country is?) but it’s sure better than some other countries.
My one thought is that I hope I will raise a kid who will be a good person and, in doing so, offset the bad of the world, if that makes sense? It’s hard to explain ahah ^_^;;
This makes total sense! We need more good people in the world, and that starts with good parents like you!
My wife and I had this conversation. I have thought deeply about this, probably too much.
yes, I do worry about the future, globally. I worry about resources, climate change, war, and many other issues. I said to my wife, I feel uncomfortable bringing a child into this world because I don’t want them to suffer or live in distress.
In terms of Japan verses other, I get worried a lot about her being considered not Japanese or not treated equally. But, I hope to just teach her to be her, don’t let anyone undervalue her based on gender or race, and as it was said before, be a good person. Be a good person is by far most important.
So yes, I do worry but if we can do our jobs off teaching right from wrong, we can help make things better, possibly. I worry but won’t live in fear.
regarding Japan vs home country. Japan, 100%. I’m American and the gun violence, health care, educational issues, diversity, is overwhelming and living there is the last place I’d decide to reside. In Japan, it’s safer with better health care. I don’t care for the juku life and will do my best to avoid that if she doesn’t want it. Gender equality here is a major issue, but I hope, I hope, I can help her to be strong and don’t be shortchanged, and how to protect herself. I think every country has its issues, Japan has less glaring ones though.
sorry for the late response, I’ve been in deep thought about this question.
No apologies for late responses! I like to think on this forum there is never such a thing as a late response, especially as we’re busy parents. (I don’t like the current culture to immediately respond to everything, anyway!)
I felt, and still feel, very guilty sometimes about bringing my daughter into the world. Was it selfish? Look at climate change – will she, and our world, be okay ten years from now? But I also agree about worrying but not living in fear. The only thing we can do is be amazing parents, as that’s something we can control.
Juku, yes, I want to avoid that as well! I want my kid to have free time to explore her hobbies and interests instead of being trained to become a corporate drone. And I also want to teach my daughter self-defense. My husband is against judo because apparently your ears can get damaged from the impact…? So I suppose karate it is!
Me and my husband have actually been thinking about moving out of Japan by the time our girls reach their teens.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>We have three daughters who are currently all in elementary school. But when you look at gender inequality rates in Japan, and the general misogyny and harrassment young women and girls face here…my heart tells me to take them to the UK..at least until university age. After that they can decide where they want to live.</p>
This is something I am very worried about, and I think it’s great that you have the opportunity to move to the UK so they have a better environment. It’s something I might consider as well, as it would only be for six years. (My husband can’t really come with us to Canada, though, due to his work.)
I want to think things will get better when my daughter is older but Japan has a LOT of work to do in terms of gender equality.
The gender equality or lack thereof is a major issue in Japan. Self defense is a great idea and something I will encourage our daughter as well. With daily inequalities she will undoubtably face, I’m really unsure how to prepare her besides raising her to be strong and not stand for less equal. I want to think so too and will do everything I can to help.
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